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New responsibilities,
difficult co-workers or a tough situation can trip up your
self-esteem on the job just when you need to be at your
best. Here are seven ways to build your confidence and help
you take on your day with assurance
1. Reframe Failure.
Don't dwell on past failures or
obsess over mistakes. After spending years trying to create
an incandescent light bulb, Thomas Edison told a colleague,
"I have not failed; I have discovered 1,200 materials that
don't work." Know that setbacks are normal and reframe any
failure as a learning experience.
2. Remember, It's Not All
About You.
According to Roger Elliott, who
teaches courses and runs a Web site dedicated to building
self-confidence, low self-esteem is often accompanied by too
much focus on the self. Conversely, individuals who are
self-confident are seldom self-conscious. If you're making a
presentation, you'll be much more effective if you
concentrate on the audience and your message rather than on
how you look or sound. Or, if you find yourself ruminating
over an unpleasant encounter, you'll feel better and be
infinitely more productive if you stop worrying and engage
in an activity that absorbs you and holds your attention.
3. Fake It 'Til
You Make It.
Adopt the posture and
body language of the self-assured. Walk tall, smile and make
eye contact. Appear calm and in control. Replace any doubts
or negative thoughts with the mantra: "I can do this!"
Convince yourself that you are self-assured, and you will
start to adopt the behaviors and skills of a confident
person. Before you know it, your self-image will catch up
with your actions and you will no longer have to pretend.
4. Relax.
One caution when it
comes to step three: People who try to project confidence
while still feeling tense, often come across as overly
aggressive. Many people find it useful to practice yoga,
however if that's not for you, you can also try deep
breathing exercises, repeating affirmations such as: "I have
strength, serenity and wisdom," or visualizing a peaceful
scene or experience.
5. Celebrate Your
Successes.
If you don't give
yourself credit, no one will. Taking time to savor your
successes not only feels good, but will help you develop a
handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories to get
you through your next confidence crisis.
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